Review: "If They Only Listened to Us"

In 2004, women in the United States voted at a higher rate than men and in larger numbers. Yet many of the voices we hear in politics, from the Sunday morning political shows to the op-ed columns in newspapers across the country, are male. There is a tremendous effort to attract the female vote and much is written about the “gender gap.” Melinda Henneberger takes it a step further: in this book, she travels the country over an 18-month period following the 2004 elections and talks with women. Every candidate and every party needs to read this book. For in it, you learn what it is that women want in an elected representative.

In seventeen chapters, Henneberger interviews over 200 women from varying backgrounds in twenty states. She even made it to Hampton Roads, interviewing Navy women in Suffolk and meeting military nurses just back from Iraq in Norfolk. Like any other group, the women’s opinions vary widely, but they had something in common:

Pretty early on, I realized how starved we all are to be listened to.. And wealthy or homeless, in college or retired, women said they felt disregarded by both parties.

Henneger is a Democrat and wonders how it is that so many women, especially those who formerly voted for the Democratic Party, have voted in recent years for Republican candidates. Letting the women talk, Henneberger uncovers some pretty interesting stuff. “I used to be a Democrat… but Kerry just struck me as arrogant,” says one. “Because you couldn’t be a Christian and be a Democrat,” says another.

Even those who still consider themselves Democrats find something of value in the Republican ideas. “I’m more conservative since I became a mom,” says one young woman. “I vote like a Democrat but I mother like a Republican.” And wealth plays a role as well. “Democrats are for the little guy, but they want to shake down the rich and five that money to poor people. That doesn’t resonate with me.”

In reading through the interviews, I was surprised at how candid the women were. One might be inclined to think that Henneberger had taken liberties with their content, but reading the conversations with black women dispelled for me any notion of that happening. Those conversations were right on point, mirroring conversations I’ve had. The women talked about things I’ve written about on this blog, including gay marriage and the potential loss of the black vote to the Republican Party.

Neither party can afford to lose the women’s vote. Listening to women and trying to meet our needs is a step towards obtaining it. This book provides a decent roadmap.

PS – I have an extra copy of this book. I’m thinking that I should have some kind of contest here and award it to the winner. Ideas?

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