Friday fun: you know you’re from Hampton Roads if …

… you recognize the statements below 🙂

A long time ago, I linked to a list posted by a now-defunct blog. It’s taken me a while but I finally located the original list. You know you’re from Hampton Roads if:

  1. You can name at least three of Mike Joynes’ law partners.
  2. You can finish the “Beach Ford” song…
  3. You know that 64 West in Chesapeake is actually going east.
  4. Virginia Beach is “Va Beach” unless you actually live there.
  5. You know that “Hampton Roads” aren’t actual roads.
  6. You don’t go to the beach every day.
  7. You don’t want to go to the beach every day.
  8. You know which beaches to avoid, unlike the tourists.
  9. You believe that Meyera Oberndorf will be the mayor of Virginia Beach for all time.
  10. Little Neck and Great Neck are not locations on Long Island.
  11. Little Neck Creek is not on Little Neck.
  12. Any westbound trip you’ve ever made involves at least one tunnel.
  13. You can name at least three underwater tunnels within a twenty mile radius of your home. Extra points if you can name all five.
  14. One of your Adopt-A-School partners in elementary school was a U.S. Navy vessel.
  15. You can say “Norfolk” while sounding neither obscene nor incorrect.
  16. You don’t stop and look skyward when aircraft fly over.
  17. You’ve seen Rudy Boesch in the Farm Fresh.
  18. You’ve seen Pat Robertson in the Farm Fresh.
  19. You’ve seen The Neptunes in the Farm Fresh.
  20. You’ve seen Timbaland in the Farm Fresh.
  21. You’ve seen Missy Elliott in the Farm Fresh.
  22. You even know what a Food Lion is.
  23. You know which parts of each city to stay out of.
  24. Sometimes the cities just blur into one big metropolis.
  25. Sorry, I meant “suburb.”
  26. You’ve been to more minor-league sports games than major-league. (More points if you can name three Hampton Roads minor-league teams)
  27. You know that on-base purchases have no sales tax. (Further points if you can name four military installations in the area)
  28. Newport News is not a catalog, it is a city.
  29. It’s Hampton, not The Hamptons.
  30. It’s not a peninsula, it’s the Peninsula. With a capital P.
  31. You can name all the I-64 spurs.
  32. It’s not Portsmouth, it’s P-town.
  33. It’s not Virginia Beach Boulevard, it’s just The Boulevard.
  34. The Strip isn’t a nudie bar, it’s a tourist trap.
  35. To you, Scope isn’t just mouthwash.
  36. The Boathouse doesn’t actually dock any boats.
  37. You’ve been to the 17th Street Surf Shop.
  38. No, the real one.
  39. You know what WRV, Hotline, Roxy, Billabong, and Quiksilver are.
  40. You’ve ever heard “South Side” by Moby while actually on the Southside.
  41. You know Dam Neck and Birdneck aren’t necks of any kind.
  42. You use Cox Cable and refer to Cox High School without even snickering.
  43. You know Mount Trashmore is a real place, not a joke.
  44. You don’t mind the jet noise.
  45. You don’t slow down in the tunnel, because it’s not a big deal. Stupid out-of-towners.
  46. Walking up hills causes an instant asthma attack.
  47. While away from home, you can identify a fellow HR resident by their being the only one in a 17th Street shirt and flip flops. In December.
  48. You can go surfing and strawberry-pickin’ in the same day.
  49. The left lane is not the passing lane, it is the only lane.
  50. You know what Rita’s Italian Ice is.
  51. You have friends at three other high schools, minimum.
  52. Jimmy Buffet is a regular fixture at parties and social events.
  53. A hermit crab is a legitimate pet.
  54. You know not to bring your golf clubs to the Tidewater Country Club.
  55. No, it’s a city. Not a county.
  56. It’s normal for seven cities to be linked in almost every conceivable way.
  57. Your city is 20 miles long but only 3 miles wide.
  58. You can leave town for years at a time to find the same sections of road still under construction.
  59. Base/shipyard traffic is one of the most dehumanizing experiences you can think of.
  60. You have to adopt a surrogate professional sports team because you live in the largest metropolitan area without a single one.
  61. It’s Seven Five Seven, not Seven Fifty-Seven.
  62. An inch of snow closes everything down.
  63. 3 inches is a blizzard.
  64. You’ve been due for a “Major Hurricane” for about 15 years.
  65. Earthquakes? Pardon?
  66. Your region is having an identity crisis: Hampton Roads? Greater Norfolk? Tidewater? Norfolk-Virginia Beach-Newport News?
  67. At least 75 mph on the interstate: It’s not just a good idea, it’s the law. If you want to survive.
  68. You know who the Norwegian Lady is.
  69. No, you can’t walk to the beach. Moron.
  70. You block the box.
  71. You didn’t immediately respond to 70 with “What?”
  72. The pedestrians are only at the beach.
  73. You’ve seen Jamestown, Williamsburg, Yorktown, and First Landing. And don’t think it’s that big of a deal.
  74. During Real Stories of the Highway Patrol, instead of saying “Too bad for him,” you say “That guy was in my gym class!”
  75. You can see another 7-11 from the 7-11 you’re currently at.
  76. You can’t afford Nordstrom. But you have one.
  77. Why shop at Gap and Old Navy when you have Walmart, Target, and Payless?
  78. MacArthur was not only a brilliant general, but a fine shopping establishment.
  79. Bridges go over water, not land.
  80. Tagalog is a language, and you might know a few words, if not speak fluently.
  81. You know not to swim at Buckroe Beach.
  82. You know Jefferson Park is not a real park.
  83. You don’t laugh when you hear “Rip Rap Road.”
  84. You hear “downtown” and immediately think of some other city.
  85. You have to specify which Lynnhaven, Princess Anne, or Kempsville Road you’re referring to.
  86. You have to go to DC to see any of the big-name concerts because you live in the largest demographic cul-de-sac in the United States.
  87. You can name all the HR cities.
  88. You don’t know what the big deal about lacrosse is.
  89. Nor do you know what the big deal about ice hockey is. Rhinos? Who?
  90. You know that Norfolk International Airport isn’t really an international airport.
  91. Newport News/Williamsburg International Airport never even enters your mind.
  92. No, you’re not hallucinating. Those are mermaids.
  93. You’ve attended the Neptune Festival without being pagan.
  94. You’re still wearing sandals in November.
  95. You’re a Republican.
  96. You know the real reason we haven’t been hit by a hurricane in the last several years is because of Pat Robertson. Emphatically cough here for emphasis.
  97. You’ve ever wonder how many fish and crabs PETA killed building their new headquarters on the banks of the beautiful Elizabeth River.
  98. You had a nickel for every OBX sticker you saw on the road, you’d be a rich man by now.
  99. You’re tired of there being no respect for your home.
  100. You know that it all started here.

Some of the items are a little dated. So, what would you replace them with?


8 thoughts on “Friday fun: you know you’re from Hampton Roads if …

  1. #52- I don’t believe Buffett has been in the area in years since he did some test flights @ NOB…as for the music…definitely!
    #95….times they are a’ chagin’!

  2. “You…refer to Cox High School without even snickering.”

    Please. I graduated from Cox High School, and I still snicker about it. Thanks in part to our horrible football team, our favorite cheer was “They may beat our Falcons, but they’ll never beat our Cox!”

  3. 1. You know that the major local university is, “Ohdee-eeew!” and they now have a football team, so “Ohdee-eeew” is finally considered to be a real university.

    2. You give directions thus: “I’ve been there, right many times, and it is right far down the road.

  4. Amazing how many of these ring true and how many I recognise and I’m not even a native of the area! Jan. 2011 will be 14 years I’ve lived in HR – after being dumped here for my final duty station prior to retiring from the USN. (Having managed to avoid being stationed here for 19 years out of a 20 year career).

    Anybody remember the tree on I64 that used to be decorated for every holiday? That tree was a landmark of HR for me and I was sorry when it was finally cut down.

    Numbers 45 & 58 are the winners! How true.

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