Happy Valentine’s Day

I arrived home later than usual last night. My bride of almost 33 years had a surprise waiting: a dozen roses – ten red ones surrounded by two white ones. ValentinesDay2014Within an hour or so, the news broke: Virginia’s ban on our marriage had been ruled unconstitutional. Combined, these make for probably the best Valentine’s Day yet 🙂

You have to understand that I absolutely love getting flowers, particularly roses, anytime – no special occasion needed. My wife, on the other hand, is not into such things. Over the years, I’ve learned not to be disappointed when I don’t get them; heck, I just buy them for myself if need be. But something changed last July 11, something that has deepened our relationship more than I thought possible.

A piece of paper.

After all these years, and after a religious ceremony in 1982, the piece of paper has made my wife so happy. It has given her comfort, a freedom from her fears, that I never thought possible. She has a copy taped to the wall – the original is safely tucked away – for all to see. When we had a minor fire in the house a few months ago, one of the fireman noticed it and congratulated us. She just beamed.

I get the sense that she finally feels secure. It’s not like I haven’t tried over the years to make her feel that way, because I have. But the paper is like proof. Finally, the last little wall of self-preservation is gone.

The roses are a reflection of that. Remembering to order them, putting the white ones in the middle – those are things she probably wouldn’t have done before 7/11/13. Her joy at seeing my reaction to them was previously unfathomable.

All because of a piece of paper.

That we – and couples across Virginia – are on a path to have our marriages recognized makes this Valentine’s Day special.

Happy Valentine’s Day, my darling. I love you with all of my heart.

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9 thoughts on “Happy Valentine’s Day

  1. Thank you so much for sharing this private sentiment publicly, Vivian. It turns on its ear the assertion that marriage is an institution that must be “defended” against homosexuality in order to preserve the sanctity of the union. If anything, this brief glimpse into your marriage makes me appreciate my own more deeply.

    I have more that I could add, but I think I’ll go call my wife and find out how her morning’s going instead. Happy Valentine’s Day.

  2. A very sweet read, Vivian – thanks for sharing with us.

    After the exciting week or so you’ve had, what with making a visit to the courthouse to hear opening arguments related to the ban on same sex marriage, and, then trying to keep another special election (House 100th) in everyone’s mind as it sits right smack on our horizon – ah, next Tuesday – I’m betting you were thrilled to sit back, relax and enjoy the Valentine’s Day evening with your wife. The legal news of the day surely made you both smile – and, what can I say about those beautiful flowers, other than – they ARE beautiful and the sentiment even more so. As someone already said, Congrats on both counts. /JM

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